10 ways to score a date with a surfer girl
In a day and age where singles would rather turn to Eharmony
and Match.com for their future soulmate/passionate sex partner
the act of meeting, wooing, and going through the physical
act of getting to know a girl and then taking the time to
seduce her in person [without a single e-card or witty instant
message conversation] has grown to be somewhat outdated. But
in the ocean, technology comes to a grinding halt. If you
have a beef with someone who dropped in on you, or snaked
your wave you have it out right there in the water, not in
an email sent five to six hours after the fact.
So it's fortunate [for you surfer-lusters out there] that
surfers are by nature simple creatures. Simple as in they
appreciate the small things in life, not simple as in they
eat glue. Most surfers already have a significant advantage
over mere mortals in scoring [a date] with a surfer girl.
Surfers are tanned, have chiseled bodies, sun-bleached hair,
and an overall laid-back demeanor that endears them to surfing
and non-surfing chicas alike. If you are a non-surfer, or
a surfer who doesn't have a clue, here are 10 [relatively]
simple ways to get a date with the surfer girl of your dreams.
1. Rock the boardshorts. That means wearing
boardshorts that are neither so high that they tie right below
your nipples, nor so low that you can see crack. Girls like
a little mystery - we've already seen the top half, save some
of it for later.
2. Have a mean backside cutback. It's not
attractive when your man can't do something well. From the
time of the cavemen, if your man couldn't bring home the
bacon, you dumped him for a more burly caveperson with a
bigger club and better skills. The same goes for surfing.
A girl wants her guy to have the biggest, baddest, skills
out there. If you can't rip stay at home or on shore [or
learn at another spot, very, very quickly].
3. Offer to tow her out. This is a very
simple, often overlooked act that will forever ingratiate
yourself into the heart of any person [male or female]. After
a long surf session, the apple of your eye may be exhausted
from all the energy she took out on the waves so offer to
give her a lift. If she is one of those fiercely independent
types [who you fear will bite your head off if you so much
as imply that she can't do anything that you can do] than
just settle for paddling beside her … that is, if you
can keep up.
4. Purchase her a small token of your affection. Who
says money can't buy happiness? For just a dollar, you can
go to your nearest surf store [think Town & Country,
Pac Sun or Ron Jon's] and pick up a sticker or bar of wax.
Present your very cheap, very cute gift to your gal pal
and watch her eyes light up. Preferably, such gifts come
with a little anecdote – "I was walking through
Ron Jon's, saw this sticker and remembered that it was your
high school colors" or "The smell of Sticky Bumps
always reminds me of you."
5. Take her for a post surfing meal. Not
only will this pave the way for future dates [that hopefully
don't take place when both of you are exhausted, damp, and
salty] but it will give you real-time opportunity to get
to know her likes and dislikes. Also, surfer girls can EAT.
So don't ask her out if you can't afford [or stomach] to
watch her down two entrees AND a dessert in one sitting.
6. Lend a hand. If you see her struggling
to make it back out into the lineup on a big day, or notice
that she has lost her board all the way on the inside, take
the initiative to help her out. Grab the board for her or
offer a few pointers to make it around the whitewash. If
you notice that one of her friends are having difficulties,
do the same for them. If you can get in with her friends,
you can probably get in with her.
7. That sexy abdominal muscle. You know,
that line that runs from your abs all the way to down there.
This is one of those things where you either got it or you
don't. If you got it you're up 10 – 150 bonus points.
If you don't … get to the gym [or your nearest lap
8. Give her a rubdown. I once read a statistic
that said that 3 out of 4 times, massages lead to sex. Surfing
can take a lot out of the back muscles [ever notice that
surfers have the most exquisitely chiseled backs?] so offer
to give her a little massage to relax. Granted it may never
lead to the bedroom but she'll probably thank you, one way
9. Let her have the wave. Scenario: You have
the inside peak of a nice wave, and see her struggling on
the shoulder to get on. LET HER GO. Not every single time
of course [or you'll never be able to show her your own
skills] but this little nicety will go a long way. A surfer
giving away a wave is like an alcoholic giving away a liver.
Or something to that effect …
10. Compliment her. It's the safest, easiest
and most obvious way to start a conversation with a surfer
girl. Compliments indicate that you've taken note of her
dazzling skills. Start off with something easy like "nice
wave" and hopefully the conversation will just keep